In the Mouth of Madness
by Mirialdo
Summary: Being revised An AU look into Muraki's mind.. currently set ten years before the beginning of YnM..
1. Prologue

In the Mouth of Madness  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing ..  
  
Warning: AU, Angst.. Lot's and lots of Angst.. Possible Implied Yaoi later on..  
  
Pairings: Possible Implied Muraki x Oriya, Muraki x Tsuzuki  
  
  
  
".. And as the fallen angels cried out in utter agony,  
  
God in heaven turned his head so as not to hear their cries.."  
  
  
  
"Sensei?"  
  
No Response.  
  
"Sensei, she's gone. You can stop now. Sensei?"  
  
Still no response, except perhaps a tightening of pale white fingers on the scalpel held in one hand. The young nurse hesitated for a moment before reaching out to lay a slender hand gently on the young doctor's arm. "Sensei, its over.. there's nothing more that can be done."  
  
Finally a response. "I can still save her, be silent and let me work."  
  
The nurse sighed softly, removing her hand from the doctor's arm. "She's gone Sensei. You did all you could." she said quietly.  
  
"I've never lost anyone yet, I'm not beginning with her. I will save her still."  
  
The nurse gave another soft sigh and turned away from the young doctor to leave the room in search for an orderly. Several moments later she was walking back towards the OR with an older man in tow. "He's never lost a patient before now, but I believe if we can just get him out of the room he'll come back to his senses."  
  
The orderly nodded once as they closed the distance to the large double doors leading to the Operating Room. "It's always hard when they lose the first, it brings reality crashing in, showing them that no matter how good they believe they are, they have limits to what they can do."  
  
She nodded as she laid her hand on the door handle. "True, but I just wish it hadn't been his own mother on the operating table. I think that's why its hitting so hard." she said as she pulled open the door. The orderly winced slightly in response and then looked into the room with a faint frown. The lights inside the room were out, plunging the room into complete darkness, almost.. he stepped inside and noticed their was still one dimly lit light in the room, swinging slowly back and forth as if it had been struck from the mounts that held it.  
  
Walking inside the nurse went to find the light switches and turned them on, squinting as the bright lights suddenly filled the room again. The swinging light had half broken from its mounts and she brought her hand up to her lips to stifle the sudden gasp that tried to escape.  
  
The orderly walked over to the table, where the young doctor was still attempting to work, blood dripped down one of the doctor's pale cheeks, falling onto the corpse's face. "Sensei.. give me the knife. It's time to stop this, she's gone and there's nothing more you can do." Closing one of his hands over the pale bloody wrist he twisted slightly to make the hand release the scalpel it held. The sudden hiss was the only warning he received to the other hand coming around to strike him.  
  
Ducking slightly to avoid the attack, he tightened his grip on the wrist he held and moved to claim the other one before looking up at the other man's face and feeling the color drain from his face as it took in the state of the other man. The doctor glared at him, one eye a brilliant silver gray, the other a bloody socket half hid by a bloodied lock of white blonde hair. Several minutes later, he managed to knock the younger man out and let the nurse retrieve help to clean and fix the mess that had been made. 


	2. Chapter 1

// Mirror, Mirror lie to me  
  
Show me what I want to see//  
  
  
  
  
  
".. my Kazutaka.. "  
  
"Don't worry Mother.. I'll take care of you."  
  
".. my perfect doll.."  
  
" I will save you Mother, I swear."  
  
".. so beautiful..."  
  
"I won't let you die.."  
  
".. as beautiful as the full frozen moon.."  
  
" Mother.."  
  
".. the best in my collection."  
  
"I love you, so I will not allow death to take you."  
  
--------------------------------  
  
Muraki woke and stared silently up at the ceiling silently for several minutes, before moving to sit up in the hospital bed, one hand lifting to lightly touch the bandages around his forehead and face. He lowered his hand after a moment and stared at the door in silent anger. If the damned nurse hadn't interrupted him..  
  
Shaking his head to get his mind off that line of thought, he slide off the bed and walked over to the closet and opened the door to find his clothes. As he began to carefully dress himself, his mind kept running back to the failed surgery and he shut the closet door with more force than necessary, causing the cabinet to rock slightly. Ignoring it, he opened the door to the room he was in and moved slowly down the hallway not really paying that much attention to where he was going.  
  
Walking through the crowd of patients, doctors and nurses, he kept his head down as he opened up a door in the hallway and continued on through it. Shortly he absently noted that the number of people moving around this part of the building had declined sharply in numbers and as he lifted his head to look around him, he noted the old, decrepit look of the walls and floor. Apparently, he had gone further down into the old hospital than he realized.  
  
A faint hiss caught his attention and he glanced over at a door a couple feet away that stood slightly ajar. Frowning, he moved towards it, one hand out against the wall to steady himself as his remaining eye decided this was a good time to start playing distance tricks on him. Reaching the door, he pushed it open further and looked inside the room, it appeared to have been some type of laboratory once upon a time.  
  
Carefully drawing away from the door, he stepped into the room and searched absently for the reason the door had been left open. His attention caught on the large glass object in the center of the room and he walked towards it, staring into the glass for several minutes before a snarl began to form on his lips.  
  
"Murderer.. it was you who killed her." he said to the one on the other side of the glass. His remaining eye glaring at the ones looking back at him, dark, yet bright in color. His hands clenched at the sight of them and he almost struck at the glass between them.  
  
"You had to take the only one who gave a damn about me, didn't you?! Bastard.." It was true, his father had never cared, No.. he had only wanted a carbon copy of himself that he could shape, control and show off. But he hadn't been anything like him, he never took after his father or allowed the man to control him and now he was a better man than his father ever had been. The only other one besides his mother who actually cared anything for just him, had left him, moved away to a different city, leaving him behind like  
  
an unwanted toy. Turning his attention back to the other behind the glass he glared at the smirk on the features he watched. "I'll make you pay for this.. I will destroy you.. "  
  
A janitor moved past the door on his way to furnace below, stopping he glanced into the doorway to see the man standing in front of the empty tank and speaking to himself. He shook his head and moved on, it wasn't his business what the crazy doctors did down here, he was only here to keep the furnace going and clean up the trash above.  
  
***  
  
Brothers shall be brothers bane  
  
In the end you kill in vain  
  
***  
  
Muraki picked up several folders filled with old records from the desk in front of him, moving to replace them back in the cabinet he had taken them from. As he moved past the desk, a small stack trembled a little before falling over onto the floor in a flood of white paper and yellow folders. He cast an annoyed look at it and almost ignored the mess for the moment, until his eyes caught on a pair of eyes looking up at him through the papers. Dropping the folders he held, uncaring that they just added to the sea of papers and folders, he almost pounced on the picture, digging it out of the papers and staring at it.  
  
Dark, yet somehow bright eyes looked dully back at him from the photograph and a slight snarl curved his lips as he stared at the picture. His eyes finally left it, searching through the papers that had been around the picture. A name.. he needed a name..  
  
Dropping down to his knees, he shifted through the papers until his eyes caught on one towards the edge of the mess that now covered the floor.. it was still partially covered, but he could see the name, although it took him a couple minutes to decipher the writing he was staring silently at.  
  
.. saki..  
  
He smiled maliciously as he reached to pull the paper towards him. His eyes narrowed sharply however when they fell on the scrawled note on one corner of the paper. '.. Deceased..' His hand tightened on the corner he held, a snarl returning to twist his features. It wasn't right, he should have been the one to kill him. His eyes scanned the paper again, trying to pick through the mass of writing. He would have to sit down later to decipher all of it, but for now it was enough to get him started with a plan. He would find some way to bring him back.. and then.. he would be free to kill him. He would make him suffer for killing his mother.  
  
Silently, he stood and set the paper on the desk before turning back to the mess scattered across the floor, moving to pick the papers up and replace them within the folders they were nearest too. He would have to sort the whole mess out, but that could be done later. 


	3. Chapter 2

// You always wanted people to remember you  
  
To leave your little mark on society  
  
Don't you know your wish is coming true today  
  
Another victim dies tonight //  
  
  
  
A tall figure walked through the shaded avenue silently as his brownish gold eyes took in the few people who visited the small café's that graced the sidewalks. He stopped suddenly as his eyes took in a familiar figure, dressed in white that accented the pale skin of the wearer. Turning, he walked over towards the table the man sat at, an untouched cup of tea sat to one side of a folder with a spread of slightly yellowed paper covering the folder.  
  
Stopping at the edge of the table he allowed a small smile to shape his lips as he studied the person sitting in front of him. Silvery, white blonde hair fell over the right side of a pair of wire-framed glasses that rested on the bridge of a pale nose, the visible silver gray eye was focused on the piece of paper held in one hand. "Muraki-san?" he asked quietly, not wanting to startle the other.  
  
The other's attention never shifted from the paper in front of him, a faint frown of concentration on his features as the eye continued to run over whatever writing that the paper held. "Muraki-san..?" he queried again, stepping closer, moving to glance at the paper being given such close attention.  
  
Still no answer, except a slight shifting of position as his shadow blocked part of the light that fell across the paper.  
  
Growing a bit annoyed by Muraki's apparent obliviousness to his presence, he reached forwards and snatched the offending piece of paper out of the pale hands and looked down at it to see just what was so damned interesting. Frowning at the scrawled writing that covered it, he stepped back as the previous owner attempted to reclaim the page from him. However, it was only his cat like reflexes that saved him from gaining a knife in his arm, as the older man attacked him in a second bid to reclaim the paper.  
  
He looked up at the other man in surprise as the white haired man recovered from the failed strike. "Muraki?! Gods.. if you want this back that badly, just ask for the damned thing." he said resentfully.  
  
Muraki appeared to pause for a moment in surprise, before sheathing the stiletto that he still held in one hand. "Gomen Nasai, Oriya. I did not realize it was you." he murmured as he straightened his white suit jacket with one hand, smoothing the fabric out to hide the existence of the knife beneath it. Finishing the small movement, he stepped forwards and retrieved the paper from Oriya. "I thought maybe another annoying prankster had decided to disrupt my research yet again." he stated as he turned to set the paper down with the others on top of the folder lying on the table.  
  
"I see.. a little extreme though, I would think, but never mind. Might I ask what brings you here to Kyoto?" Oriya asked watching Muraki as the other sat down at the table.  
  
" I requested a transfer to the hospital here for a small while, I am doing research and there are some interesting things I wished to look into in this city."  
  
Oriya closed the distance between them quietly before speaking. "So you did become a doctor then, I had wondered. It is good to see you again, Kazu.."  
  
A pale hand lifted from the table to lightly lay against brunette's lips. ".. please.. don't.. I did not come here to see you.." The hand pulled back and rested once more on the papers lying on the table. " .. I am here for my research.." Muraki looked away from Oriya absently, mind wandering over the various facts that he had strung together over the year since he had begun his quest. Shidou Saki, a child from a patient whom his bastard father had laid with, conceiving the demon the same day as he had been conceived. A child just as much a bastard as the man who caused him to be born. The one responsible for *her* death, for his own disfigurement. A very faint snarl began to curl the edges of his lips as the image of the demon rose again in his mind's eye.  
  
"It's your fault my family fell apart. That even the person most dear to me was hurt..." he murmured quietly to himself absently. His hand clenched over the papers below it as his animosity sought a suitable outlet. " .. you stole everything from me, Niisan.. but I'll make you pay for it.. I'll kill you with my own hands, Saki.. you will see.. not even death will stop me from exacting my revenge."  
  
Slightly alarmed at the sudden change in his older friends behavior, Oriya took a step back away, a frown crossing his features as he stared at the agitated actions of the doctor. Despite attempting to keep the disquiet from his voice, it still shook faintly as he spoke. "Muraki-sensei.. ? Who is Saki?"  
  
His question appeared to snap Muraki out of whatever fit he had fallen into and he turned to look at the brunette standing not a couple feet from him still. His voice held a slight hint of malicious rage in its tone as he spoke. "....Saki.... is.. or I suppose was, since he is currently deceased, my half-brother.." he paused for a moment, hatred gleaming in the visible silver eye, the elliptical pupil narrowing sharply. " He killed my mother.. before his death.. and gave me this.." As the last syllables passed his lips, he lifted a hand to push back the fall of silver blonde hair, revealing the scarred area around the right eye, and the artificial eye that rested within the scarred eye socket.  
  
Shock drained most of the color from Oriya's face as he saw it, he turned his gaze away, trying to recover and it took him several minutes before he could look back to see the long bangs were once more hiding the right side from view. "I didn't realize you had a brother.. I'm sorry to hear about your mother though."  
  
Muraki nodded faintly in response, the previous rage gone now it seemed as he silently gathered the papers covering the table back into the folder they had previously covered. Quietly, Oriya watched him until he had finished. "Would you allow me to treat you to dinner? I own a ...restaurant... now. I would enjoy your company tonight, if you could join me for a meal." he asked softly.  
  
Standing up smoothly, as if the earlier outburst had never happened, Muraki picked up the folder quietly before turning towards Oriya and smiling softly. "I would be glad to accept, Oriya. Thank you for the offer." 


End file.
